By Jaki Florsheim
I never had to worry about my physical health as a kid. I was a dancer, a singer, and a swimmer from a middle-class family. The intense pain of my monthly period was my only adolescent physical complaint. We didn’t think or talk about mental health. I was furious with my mother for what I perceived as cruelty, but I kept it secret. My pillow and my mirror took the pounding, crying and sense of unreality that I felt. Heating pads helped my cramps, and family, friends, and school balanced my fury.
As an adult, I saw myself as a healthy woman. I had temporary afflictions such as a couple of bouts of dysentery in West Africa, and strep throat or bronchitis in Brooklyn. I always powered through, rarely missing days of teaching. I journaled and saw psychotherapists for my mental health.
I was shocked when I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2007, less than a year after retiring. I got the call from my ob-gyn to come in after a sonogram for postmenopausal bleeding. I knew it was serious when she said she’d prefer to talk about the results in person. When I met with the surgeon she recommended to do my radical hysterectomy, my biggest concern was that I’d be recovered in time to dance at Josh and Anne’s wedding in three weeks. I danced!
Three months later, around the time we traveled to California for cousin Rob’s wedding to Heidi, I noticed bumps on my abdomen. They were diagnosed as subcutaneous abdominal tumors, stage 4 metastatic endometrial cancer. That’s when I got scared.
We knew that we didn’t want to work with the surgeon who did my hysterectomy, and we didn’t want to go back to Sloane-Kettering after a second opinion there. I was in tears after they said they’d never seen this condition and didn’t know how to treat it. Then I got serious.
First, I saw my friend Hannah’s recommendation, Dr. John Koulos, head of ob-gyn oncology at Beth Israel’s comprehensive cancer care center. Dr. Koulos and his colleague, Dr. Shapira, reassured me that they could treat me with six rounds of chemotherapy and I could live with cancer if not beat it. Henry and Laika were there with me for every appointment.
Then, I reached out for other kinds of support. I continued the blog I had started before surgery when I asked my loved ones to visualize wrapping me in a pink blanket of love. I went to classes and appointments for alternative healing methods. I meditated, prayed, and did yoga. I found macrobiotics on the internet after research. My friend Ada urged me to see a macrobiotic counselor, Denny Waxman.
My life has been changed by this life-threatening disease. I continue to practice macrobiotics. I learn more about myself in the world every day and will continue to do so. I am healed and full of gratitude for my life with my dear Henry, our family, and our community.
Jaki Florsheim is a longtime peace and social justice activist, mother, and nanna. She lives with her husband Henry in Brooklyn, New York.